As you all know, there are two types of poltergeist: wild poltergeists and tame poltergeists. Be careful! Don’t mix up one with the other! It’s really dangerous. Wild poltergeists are uncontrollable and perilous!
Tame poltergeists can be dangerous too, if they are unsupervised. So if you decide
A well-trained poltergeist is a good friend and a defender of your house. It is quiet, invisible and polite. You can leave it alone at home while you take a long trip, and be absolutely sure that nothing will happen with your house.
Poltergeists have a good health and usually they don't need special treatment.
There is only one bad thing about poltergeists: they don’t like pets or children, so if you decide to keep it, be sure there are no other animals around or disaster will happen!
ralph 2 день(дня)(дней) назад
ОтветитьУдалитьAntarien - could you please provide some advice as to how I am able to tell the difference between wild and tame poltergeists. Whenever I go to the pet shop I am attracted to one particular one who gives me a cheeky smile but I don't know if I should bring it home or not as it could cause considerable problems for me and my pet giraffe. What would be your advice. Thank you in advance.
Antarien 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
Katya, we have to answer for our tame pets. ) I someone throw out a tame poltergeist it may became a wild one, and return to take vengeance on ex-master (:
Katya 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
Anna, so you are bound to have one for life! ;) How do you train yours? :)
Antarien 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
Well, you can get rid of your poltergeist by selling your old house. Poltergeists usually depend on houses more then masters. The only question is if a new owner would be glad to have such surprise or not (: Well, I did it this way. My poltergeist likes milk with honey very much, so when it was good I gave him this treat. And wen it had bad behaviour I gave him some milk with pepper and salt. Now he has an ideal behaviour ))))
ralph 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
Help me - I am now in great difficulty since you did not provide me with the complete set of information. I was not completely honest but I already had a poltergeist at home (katya - you are absolutely right!!!!) but he was a very sad creature and was desperate for a mate. My plan was to find one at the pet shop from where I have just returned. But "HORROR" it turns out that at home I had a tame poltergeist but now I have bought a wild one who has just destroyed all the pillows in my house thinking they were ducks to chew! And Freddy (my tame poltergeist - he is so cute but very sad) is now huddled in the corner and will not speak with me. My next question, o ye poltergeist expert, is how do I get rid of them?
Antarien 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
Pretend as you are delighted with every trick of your wild poltergeist. It feel bored soon and leave you alone. (Usually they go out to find someone else who will be afraid of them and their tricks, poltergeists like it!) As for tame one it is much more difficult. They usually depend on people and depend on places they living. Perhapse if you pretend that you don't have a poltergeist it will be so quite and unapparent that you forget him.
ralph 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
Unfortunately this will be my last entry since both freddie and I are huddling in the corner whilst the feral poltergeist is patrolling the hall so that we cannot leave the house. Please do whatever you can to warn any other readers of the mischevious nature o f the se h or r ble cre at ur esssssssssssssssssssssssss
Antarien 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
ОтветитьУдалитьOh, thank you for the question! I completely forgot to say. It’s quite easy to tell one from the other. Wild poltergeists usually have much darker color of fur and the much longer teeth. As for finding of the main difference, you should just make a loud clap. If there is a tame poltergeist it will be very ashamed and tries to disappear but if there is a wild one it’ll decide that you want to play and started make noise, throw stuff and do as much mess as it can. Never take a wild poltergeist to your house otherwise your house is in a mess! :) In the pet shop you may also ask for a certificate, pedigree tame poltergeists usually have them.
Katya 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
@Ralph, you can't buy a poltergeist, he/she? finds you. It is up to you to make the right character. :)))) Giraffe is pretty cool for a pet, does it live on the five-star hotel patio? I have a lynx in my padishah's suite, a horrid creature, I should say. Claws and fur everywhere! :)))) That's why I don't have any poltergeists. @Anna, well, you have to use an upside-down broom to get rid of the poltergeist. Old Russian Tradition. :P
Antarien 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
And of course, if there is a mate pedigree poltergeist it won't make any troubles for you or your pet giraffe. Poltergeists may be dangerous only for small pets. :)
Katya 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
@Antarien, what do you do when you want to take your poltergeist with you when moving the house? :) @poor locked and cornered Ralph, why on earth have you bought the second one? :)))) I see Freddie is a boy, so the new one is a ferocious girl. I wonder who was her previous owner? :) It is a rhetorical question, as I assume by now the feral creature has seized the power of the house and consequently of the computer. Well, good luck in your survival! :))))
ralph 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
h e l p
Katya 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
hplaR, tahw llahs ew od? :))) (reverse reading ;))
ralph 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
For those of you interested we have had a very difficult night with the feral one (the female poltergeist) running rampant around the house. She has eaten everything in sight including the goldfish, devastated the store cupboard and even chewed up the potted plants. Fred is a wobbly mess - more like jello than the proud, fun-loving and cuddly poltergeist I once called my friend. I managed to grab my laptop whilst the feral one was sliming the sofa - how dare she disrespect the largest piece of furniture in the house! Katya - you have offered to help. I think there is only one solution - do you have any contacts in the SAS that will free us from the grip of this monster? Oh why did I ever listen to Antarien with her wonderful description of the domestic bliss achievable with a poltergeist? Please be Quick!
Antarien 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
Oh, Ralph. I informed SAS, they said they would contact you as soon as possible! Why did you ever decide to take two of them at once?! And how is you poor pet giraffe? I'll tel you in strict confidence that poltergeists are afraid of... salt. They don't like it very much, so you can try defend yourself with it ;)
Katya 1 день(дня)(дней) назад
@Ralph, she has indeed turned your life into misery within a day! Well, at least the feral girl doesn't dictate you what to do! :))) As Antarien has already contacted SAS, I will contact RSPCA to rescue your pets, but unfortunately, they don't deal with people unless you pretend to be an animal when they arrive! :)))))) I reckon one of the ghostbuster guys can help you out, but their line is engaged! I will try again. Hold tight! :))) @Antarien, send Ralph as much salt as possible ASAP, I reckon he is running short! ;)
ralph 23 час(-а)(-ов) назад
ОтветитьУдалитьAntarien and Katya - you are lifesavers! Upon receiving your advice I ordered 20 tonnes of salt which was sent immediately from the city authorities (unfortunately there have been many accidents now in London because there is no salt for the roads - but you must agree that the problem of the domestic poltergeist certainly takes precedence :) It has worked - the feral poltergeist (I never gave her a name as she only yelled abuse to me - never wishing to discuss the history of russian literature or cranial sacral therapy, for example!) has left once a combination of the salt and the SAS arrived. I now have so many friends from the SAS who have ordered me to prepare fish and chips for them to use the salt - I will be cooking for 5 years! But the giraffe is happy as he looks on from high up to see the house a happy place again. Well except for the intrusion of the RSPCA who have informed me that once the cooking is finished I will be put in Jail for mistreatment of a giraffe! What has happened to my life . . . . .! :))))
Katya 23 час(-а)(-ов) назад
Thanks God, giraffe is safe. :))) Are we invited for fish&chips party? ;) I would myself scream abuse if someone nagged me with history of Russian Literature! :))) You should have spoken to her about fashion, Hollywood gossip and whatever else the girls discuss? :))))
ralph 21 час(-а)(-ов) назад
@Katya - you very much sadden me! :( All I hear is about this damn giraffe - the feral poltergeist (now sent away, thank god!) was friendly with him, the SAS want to ride him in the garden, and the RSPCA say he needs more space so he will get the entire house. So now Fred and I must leave home and find a new place to live. We are living in fear of discovering a new wild Poltegeist at some other new address. And all because I didn't have your advice to discuss fashion, Hollywood gossip, and other girl topics with her!!!!! What can I say, we men (Fred and I) have no hope in this feminine world (even though Fred is rather fond of dressing in Women's dresses now and then - I would object but its not good to object with a Poltergeist!). Oh well, all I can say is thank you for your advice - ALL of it too late :))))))
Katya 15 час(-а)(-ов) назад
ОтветитьУдалитьI reckon the deviless was kind to the giraffe, as he was slow to process all abuses she shouted at him. :)))) Such a long neck, you know. My advice arrived too late, I feel much responsible now, if you want you can send the giraffe to me. I am sure my lynx and your giraffe will make such a smelly zoo in my suite. :)))) Or it might be high time for you to move somewhere else. ;) The SAS have atrocious attitude! Don't let them make money out of your property! I think the story is still going rather than finished. Fingers crossed, you make it out of the mess! ;)
ralph 13 час(-а)(-ов) назад
Te latest news is that Fred and I are wandering the streets looking for somewhere to stay. Its alright for fred because he doesn't feel the cold but I'm frozzled here in the Northern Hemisphere. I feel very nervous about sending you my giraffe - with all your bad advice who knows what might happen? And surely you know that a giraffe and a lynx would never get on. Mmmm - you haven't made a good case actually. But I do need to do something as the SAS are looking for us and it is difficult to hide a 4.5 meter beast called Sophie. Could you promise me to give her a good home? And would you be so kind as to take Fred as well - I know he could use a holiday as he has been rather depressed lately - he is a poltergeist after all . . . . ?
Katya 1 час(-а)(-ов) назад
Ralph, it saddens me so much that all my advice was ugly and fruitless and you have ended up on the street. :(((((( I am crying bitterly! What do you call a good home for your dearest Sophie along with dearest Fred? I will try to match the requirements. :))) You have a truly kind heart to care for your pets and not for yourself! What are you planning to do? :( I am not giving out any advice any more, I feel the burden of responsibility pressing on my chest. :)))) Good luck!