The Road Goes Ever on and on

"Roads go ever ever on 
Under cloud and under star" 

 It seems to me that ages passed since I left Moscow. However, it also seems to me that no time gone. I don't want to return home, I don't want to stay here. So, it is time to change something. "Help" - cries my soul, "Socorro*!"- echoes my heart. Three wonderful weeks overs, it's time to say good-bye. I didn't know that it would be so difficult for me. Though, there is a light side too, as I'm gonna change something. I have no idea what exactly I will change, it is like a blind bend: no idea what is after it. Something's gonna happen. As usual, I write in English about the things I cannot talk in Russian.


 *Socorro - Help! (PT)


 Btw, Brazil was wonderful. Especially Rio. Picture from my instagram:

Tenho duas semanas para aprender português... Estou procurando uma melhor maneira para explicar bem como trabalhar com CityAds. (como carregar os dados no sistema, como criar uma programa ou link, ou objetivo...) .. Não aprendi muito de portuguese..

It seems to me that I lost for a while once again.
Well, frankly speaking, it isn't really bad though. Now I'm crazy about Prague. (Although I'm coming to San-Paulo in two weeks, and it would have been more natural if I were crazy about Brazil..)
 It is something magic about winter Prague: all these streets with stone blocks, wonderful churches and of course the mystery touch of mediaeval spirit. So, I can hardly be here, in Moscow, I'm walking around the streets and avenues without any syllable purpose, drink coffee in small cafes and write some notes about my mood and feelings. If anyone knew how much it matters to me, if I could share this...
Despite this little melancholy, I have already bought tickets to the Czech Republic, and even rent a room in a hostel, so if I get my visa, I will celebrate New Year There and I will have ten wonderful days to loaf around the Old City..

Meu dia

Hoje foi um dia difícil.
Eu não sei o que fazer quando meus parentes me chamam e eu me sinto horrível. E eu trabalhei hoje apesar do fato de que hoje é sábado... Eu estou muito cansada. Mas eu espero que todos estejam  bem. Uma língua ajuda-me a relaxar assim que eu a estudo...

A year and a half ago I was depressed, saw no future for myself, had no hope, no relatives and no thought as to what to do. Well, in reality it was something close to committing suicide.

At present I'm a "project champion", lead technician and almost the head of the department. Most importantly, however, is that I love my occupation. I work in the best affiliate network in Russia - cityads.com I rent a room almost in the center of Moscow, which makes me happy as I have a fantastic view from my window. I walk a lot, take photos and give English lessons to my team - that's sort of a sideline now. Frankly speaking, I miss my dancing classes, but it seems to me like a small cloud in a clear sky. Thusly, I have only one thing to say: Never give up! 

Je suis fatiguée. Je me sens seule et perdue, loin du monde entier. Mon monde est sans espoir... Je n'espère pas qu'un jour je serai libre et heureuse. Mon travail me tue.

In one line..

- What was it?! - Oh, calm down, it was a half of a year.. They often fly over here..

I feel nothing, I believe nothing and I'm nothing - just a reflection of people. Is there me, when nobody is reflected? What do I look like, when I'm alone?
Three weeks in Kiev have passed and I still hardly see anything. That's all because of my work, of course. Well, I like it, but it takes all my time and all my mind. Nothing matters when you're alone.


 C'est moi, qui espère jusqu'à le dernier souffle. Ma réalité est futilité et désolation mais je ne puis pas accepter cela. Ma vie ne change rien à rien Peut-être, j'aurais dû mourir au berceau.

A Shining Brick

Each time I write an entry, I try hard to find a good theme and I can hardly ever find it. People around talk on Navalny, politics and that guy who said that FBI reads all our mails. I'm not interested in such things. Frankly, I prefer to write something like  "If I lived in other world..." Or something about Shredinger's cat. Or, about the double rainbow I saw few days ago. All these things are just simple and.. yeah, life-asserting - this word should fits rather well.

 "When God created time He made enough of it", however I can hardly find a minute to write anything. Even faery diaries are lost. Perhaps it's time to try something new, perhaps it is just a crisis of my life and writing skills. Perhaps I just need an idea. My friends call this "A shining brick", meaning that a great idea falls on your head as unexpectedly as ordinary brick, and it makes you create something new and interesting. So, I asks for such a "shining brick", because I want keep up my writing, especially in English.

*** .
..If I could find other worlds, then I would come and never back. I would unleash my sacred dreams without fearing the lack. The Sun would shine upon my face and fair winds would touch my cheeks, I would believe that empty road will never take my minds back. As soon as I forget my world the silver wings will come to light.. I will remember nothing more but final flight..

 ***
.. Hey, wanderer! It's time for you to leave. You see, the path lays down to your feet, so take your dusty bag and come to finding a new day. Do you believe me, that tomorrow - is always better than today? The road will save you from worries and from misfortunes too. Once you just do a single step and the way takes you once and for all..